Do Not Attempt Under Any Circumstances

And now for more pointless destruction, wherein somebody attempts to microwave a cell phone. Don’t try this yourself. Especially when you’re home alone. Unarmed.

Yippie Ki-Yay, America!

Finally, someone I can feel good about voting for: John McClane for President!

Another Reason Why Three-Year-Olds Are Great

I stumbled across this on YouTube and laughed until I cried, so I had to share it with everybody.

Your Cool Destruction Video of the Day

What happens to a railroad tanker car if you don’t vent it while you’re emptying it? This: Wow. And I still impress myself when I crumple up my Diet Coke can.

What Grandmas of the Future Will Knit

Because in the future, your grandma will find better, more efficient ways to make you look like an itchy, uncomfortable tool. (Via Engadget)

This Is What the Devil’s Chair Looks Like

Where does Satan curl up and relax after a long day of tempting, fiddle contests, and poking people in the butt with a pitchfork? On a chair made of stitched-together panda corpses, that’s where!More comfortable than that throne of skulls, but still plenty evil.

Happy St. Paddy’s Day

Courtesy of Jonah Goldberg, enjoy this heart-rending performance of Danny Boy by Beaker, Animal, and the Swedish Chef.

Skynyrd Does Their Part to Win the Cold War

The Leningrad Cowboys and the Red Army Choir sing “Sweet Home Alabama.” Warning: once you see it, you can’t unsee it. People ask, “How will we know when we’ve won the war against fanatical Islam?” We’ll know when we see Iranian rock bands playing “Cat Scratch Fever” on the MTV awards.

We Blowed It Up Together

Via Gizmodo, a three-year-old summarizes Star Wars. In an upcoming video, this same girl will point out all the things that are wrong with Episode I.

Prepare for the Coming Invasion of Nerf Zombies

Luckily, I’m immature enough that I’m not embarrassed to buy toys for myself, because now we have this: the fully-automatic, belt-fed(!), Nerf machine gun. Via Gizmodo, which I’ve got to stop reading before I spend myself poor.

Indiana Jones and The Big Tub of Epsom Salts

I, like many, was skeptical when I heard that the now 65-year-old Harrison Ford was going to be donning the fedora for a fourth Indiana Jones movie. But I have to say, I do get a little tingly when I hear the theme music rise in this trailer. Here’s hoping that the editors don’t have … Read more

Too Short Songs

I left the house this morning with Tobymac’s “Boomin’”in my head, so when I got home I had to download it from Amazon’s mp3 store (Which is great! You should try it! Click the banner at the top of the page! I get a cut!). Now, when I get hooked on a new song, I’m … Read more

Go Ahead and Cancel Your Vanity License Plate

Because there’s no way it’s as cool as this one. Behold, the pinnacle of the genre: Not cryptic, just simple with a profound message we can all understand. And a ready-made defense for traffic court.

Kung-Fu Election!

Been watching all those presidential debates? Yeah, me neither. I’d be much more likely to take an interest if the debates were more like King-Fu Election. Challenged on your tax policy? Defend your record with a flying roundhouse kick to the head!