Things I Would Be Tweeting if I Were Tweeting

no-twitterAs previously noted, I’m cutting down my exposure to current events, because lately they just make me angry and sad.

Part of that “cutting down” involves spending less time on Twitter, because if Twitter were an engine, its fuel would be anger and sadness. Check that — its fuel would be anger and more anger, and that would make me sad.

Twitter is a tough habit to break, but so far, it’s going pretty well. With the time I’ve saved, I’ve been able to read a lot more books. Here’s what I’ve read just so far this year, with brief reviews:

  • No Country for Old Men –  As good as the movie, which was pretty good. And Cormac McCarthy proves that real writers don’t mess around with all that spelling and punctuation crap.
  • Moneyball – As good as the movie, but good in a different way. Compelling for people who like inside baseball info about, y’know, baseball.
  • The Question of God – Author uses writings of C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud to stage a debate between the two about God. Lewis comes out looking good; Freud comes out looking, as he always does to me, like a bitter crank.
  • Desiring God – What Freud wasn’t doing in the previous book. Much more thoughtful and deliberate in its arguments than I expected. I liked it a lot.
  • Mostly Harmless – An installment in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series of funny, sci-fi novels. It’s both funny and sci-fi, but it probably falls into the “contractual obligation” portion of the series. Meanders around for 250 pages and then stops. Good for a larf.

So I’ve steered my reading habits away from Twitter, but it’s been harder to change my thinking habits. My brain is still wired to come up with pithy 140-character comments that I want to throw out into the internet churn to see what kind of response I get.

#ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion – I often like the Kidz Bop version of a song better than the actual song.

But I know that if I get on Twitter to post them, I’ll start reading and I won’t be able to stop. To save myself from that, I’m just going to try to clear the mechanism by posting tweets on my own little corner of the internet right here.

You know soccer is boring b/c soccer highlights are always penalty kicks. If the most exciting part of a basketball game is a 3rd qtr free throw, that’s a bad basketball game.

This does nothing to grow my twitter followers, but there are more important numbers to worry about, such as “number of Oreos currently in my mouth.”

“Roadhouse” is the best bad movie of all time. #BeNice #UntilItsTimeToNotBeNice

I’ll probably end up back on Twitter from time to time. I need to treat it like candy: good sometimes in small doses; overuse will make you sick.

#ConfessYourUnpopularOpinion – Officiating w/ instant replay is terrible in all sports at all times. The few meaningful reversals aren’t worth the wasted time and Zapruder-level analysis of every call.

Wife told me the plot of #MoneyMonster. I said “So it’s a comedy?” She said “No.” But I think it’ll turn out that I was right.

For now, I’m going to get back to reading things that don’t make me want to punch the internet in the face.