If you’re getting the jittery sweats trying to find college football-related stories now that the season is over, be advised that EDSBS is counting down all 124 Division I football mascots in descending order of edibility. Including:
79. Western Kentucky Hilltopper. Assume a consistency like that of fake bacon dog treats, and a similar flavor.
65. Kentucky Wildcat. Deep fried cat that died of lung cancer after smoking its entire life. (The savor is in the tumors!)
I’m a little concerned that we’re getting this before we’re even through bowl season. What’s EDSBS going to have left to give next March, when we’re five months from kickoff and really desperate? I’m going to end up getting thrown out of a used video game store for trying to lick all their copies of NCAA 2009.