Bacon is Not a Crime!

New York City police are probing the use of bacon in a hate crime:

Police are investigating an unusual bias crime on Staten Island. 

Muslims who gathered for prayer to celebrate the end of Ramadan in a city park found bacon scattered on the ground, CBS 2’s John Slattery reported Monday. 

With Ramadan ending this past weekend, Muslims celebrated the end of fasting with prayer. On Staten Island an outdoor service was held Sunday on a New Dorp football field, attracting some 1,500 Muslims. 

But before most of the faithful arrived for Morning Prayer, it was discovered that someone had scattered a quantity of raw bacon on the field.

First off, what kind of monster takes perfectly good bacon and just throws it on the ground? Depending on the quantity of bacon used, the culprit may need to be beaten continually for the next several years.

But seriously, this merits a call to the police? In a reasonable, grown-up world, this would be called a “prank.” But in this world it’s a “hate crime” and compared to swastikas and burning crosses, and the police spend the day in a park picking up pieces of bacon with their evidence tweezers and putting them into their evidence baggies, to be stored in an evidence locker on a shelf labeled “hate bacon.”

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