March 14th will mark the first anniversary of my marriage to my lovely wife. Along with teaching me all the things that marriage to a good woman is supposed to teach you (for instance, groups of words that I would say and consider “witticisms” are actually just “incomprehensible”; and normal human beings have a diet that consists of more than corn dogs and cereal), our relationship has also reinforced my understanding of one particular aspect of the nature of God.
In dark times, when people seek answers and direction, they often wonder why God doesn’t speak to us out loud. It sure would be handy if we could hear a guiding voice say, “Hey, you really should major in accounting. And take that internship this summer.” Or, “Don’t put that in your mouth.” But God has chosen not to speak to us that way.
As Christians, we believe that God’s choices, even when they seem inconvenient, are for the best. Although, sometimes it’s hard to find a reason beyond faith. I believe the same thing about His decision not to speak out loud. He doesn’t do it to hide himself from us; He does it because it’s for the best.
What does this have to do with my relationship with my wife? Well, lemme tell ya. It just so happens that I got married fairly late in life, as far as averages go. And it also just so happens that I married a girl who’s thirteen years younger than I am. It just worked out that way. (Oh, and by the way, eat your hearts out, fellas.)
As many single people do, I went through that period of despair in my early twenties. I was 24, 25 years old, and a lot of my friends were finding those special someones and getting married, and I felt like I was the only guy at the foosball table while everybody else was on the floor for couples skate. And I would cry out in my prayers, “Why Lord? Why can’t I find that person to share my life with? Why am I being kept form this special experience that so many are enjoying? Even the jerks?”
And behold, it is good that God didn’t answer me out loud, for if he did, it would’ve sounded something like this: “Jason, don’t worry. I love you and I have a plan for your life. And I have that special someone picked out for you. I know who she is, I know where she is, and I know that she’ll be graduating from elementary school next year.”
“I’m sorry, Lord,” (cleaning my ear canal with my pinky), “I think I missed that last part. Did you say she’d be graduating with a degree in elementary education next year?”
“No, that’s not what I said. Look, just trust me and don’t worry about it.”
Yea, verily, it is good that I didn’t know how all this was working out. And this lesson teaches me that in all things, what God wants to tell us most is, “Just trust me, and don’t worry about it.”