Now, before they rest from their labors, the lords and ladies of the Imperial City are taking on the formidable challenge of fixing the way the number one team in college football is determined.
Washington is going to create a system whereby the ranking of college football teams is fair, transparent, sustainable, affordable, and does not discriminate against any team on the basis of speed in the secondary, beef on the O-line, or want-to at linebacker. We shall have an affirmative action program that guarantees that the agile, mobile, and hostile will not have unfair advantage over the slow, weak, and timid.
And of course, this important point at the end:
One thing, though. No matter what Congress does – and it is plainly capable of just about anything – the Tide is still number one.