2014 New Year’s Resolution Review

failture-posterI’m all about self-improvement, so I’m already starting to think about resolutions for next year. Before I do that, though, I thought it might be a good idea to see how I did on my resolutions for this year. That way I’ll know if I should push myself with my next set of resolutions, or if I should just resolve to do something really easy, like not accepting any roles in M. Night Shyamalan movies or not talking to reporters from Rolling Stone.

So how did I do? Let’s take a look:

Resolution 1: Be funnier — I’d have to score this one a fail. Whether it’s the soul-gripping terror that comes from having a daughter for the first time, or the inordinate amount of fretting I’ve done over the inordinate amount of stupidity in the world lately, circumstances have conspired to fill my head with worries instead of one-liners. It helps that we’ve started doing the podcasts, because that gives me a place to stretch out the ol’ funny bone. (Can you stretch a bone? Don’t answer that.) But I still think that at best I’ve just held my ground this year; maintaining the funny, but not improving it.

Resolution 2: Foster widespread use of the emoticon I invented — In case you didn’t know already, it’s the emoticon for “Duh,” which is this:

:B

And the reason you didn’t know is that I have utterly failed to promote it.

Resolution 3: Read half as many books as my wife — No chance. By July she had read way more books then I could ever hope to read in a year. And then in October she went to Catalyst and came back with a bunch of free books, which she devoured in a weekend. Even if I’m not comparing myself with her, I’m still not too pleased with my literary pursuits this year. I managed to finish Confederacy of Dunces, which I would describe as “one of the funniest books that you might be required to read in a literature class.” And I read Susan Cain’s Quiet, also known as “that book about introverts.” Other than that, my reading material was mostly really depressing news stories and the captions under funny pictures on Facebook.

Resolution 4: Improve my workout routine — I’ll give myself half a win on this one. I decided I needed to start getting up extra early in the morning to work out because it was the only way I could make time. Amazingly, I’ve been able to do it. More or less. It’s not a habit yet. I still have to talk myself into getting out of bed every morning when the alarm goes off, and some mornings I’m more persuasive than others.

Still, I’ve kept it up for some months now, and I’m kind of proud of myself for sticking with it. The muscles I use to rub sleep out of my eyes are in better shape than they’ve ever been. Now if I could get around to working on the other ones.

Resolution 5: Care about things that matter; don’t care about things that don’t — Here is the one that I need to re-address, and I will. (Stay tuned for the upcoming 2015 resolutions post.) But I think that I have slapped the “things that matter” tag on way too many things. For the upcoming year, there’s going to be some culling.

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