Tale of the Tape: A.J. McCarron’s Girlfriend vs. Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend

They’ve both been in the news a lot lately, so let’s do a compare/contrast between the two college football sweethearts:

A.J. McCarron’s girlfriend,
Katherine Webb
Manti Te’o’s girlfriend,
Lennay Kekua
Physical attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 Eleventeen (using Musburger notation) [null set]
Achieved fame when… Alabama scored third unanswered touchdown and announcers really needed something to talk about. She died from fake cancer, finally giving sports writers a reason to write about woefully under-covered Notre Dame football program.
Beauty pageant title Miss Alabama 2011 Miss Manti Te’o’s Laptop Web Browser Cache 2012 (narrowly edging out Selena Gomez)
Surprising follow-up appearance Sports Illustrated Reagan Mauia’s imagination
First big interview Today show Newsweek (print edition)
Effect on boyfriend’s draft status Negligible, but Jerry Jones does plan to spend a lot of time “introducing himself to the family” on draft day, if you know what I mean. The same effect as seeing that girl you have a crush on walking out of the free clinic.
Effect of story on fans of the band They Might Be Giants None whatsoever. “I have something in common with an All-American linebacker!”
Least favorite pick-up line “Hello, I’m Donald Trump.” “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? If it existed?”
Subject of a half-finished Tom Rinaldi poem No Yes (Best he could do for a rhyme for Kekua? “Accrue-a.”)
Secret tip for keeping weight off Eat spicy foods to raise your metabolism! Stay away from trans-fats. Also, avoid having mouth or digestive system.

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